Powerlessness

Why can't I ever do anything about things when it really matters? I'm fed up with everything always being so out of control.

On the other hand

making cats happy is always pretty easy.

What I really want to know

If you woke up stark bollock naked and lashed to the roof of the international headquarters of the Hornel Corporation, manufacturers of Spam, while I was attaching crocodile clips wired to an enormous van der Graff generator to your nipples, what would be your first thought?