What I really want to know

[sesquipedality]

If you woke up stark bollock naked and lashed to the roof of the international headquarters of the Hornel Corporation, manufacturers of Spam, while I was attaching crocodile clips wired to an enormous van der Graff generator to your nipples, what would be your first thought?

Comments

[sesquipedality.livejournal.com]

Of course you may.

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

I think the words "Holy f**k" would march into my brain.

[sparrowsion]

"How do I know this is the international headquarters of the Hornel Corporation, manufacturers of Spam, if I'm lashed to its roof stark bollock naked?"

[purpleheather.livejournal.com]

Surely there would be a large neon sign, flickering as the van der graaf generator sucked power from the system...?

[sparrowsion]

Possibly, but if "stark bollock naked" includes a lack of glasses it would have to be an implausibly large sign to convey that much information in a form I could read.

[purpleheather.livejournal.com]

*Grins*

The Spam sign, visible from outer space...

[secretrebel.livejournal.com]

I'm obviously still dreaming. Now where did those cute elves go?

[vyvyan.livejournal.com]

Gosh. I never realised you were into this sort of thing.

[ukmonty.livejournal.com]

Spam? Why the hell wopuld I want to eat that......

[omentide.livejournal.com]

It appears that I will be late for work again... And who's going to feed the fish. Ouch.

It doesn't haunt me like it did before

[hoiho.livejournal.com]

Oh, Ghods, not again!

[lanfykins.livejournal.com]

'Oh for fuck's sake, can't I get a lie in just once in my life?!'

[emperor]

I *must* stop drinking so much at the Calling!

[borusa.livejournal.com]

I've always wanted a van der graaf generator.

[vampwillow]

I'd giggle at the way it tickled ;-P

[senji.livejournal.com]

"Wha'?"

[crazyscot.livejournal.com]

Cor, 's a bit exposed up here, innit? ... quickly followed by ... Gosh, I wonder what I did to deserve this.

[ex-lark-asc.livejournal.com]

"I'm never drinking tequila again", probably..

[wyrdness.livejournal.com]

"What the bloody hell?!"

Then followed by "Didn't Christi mention something like this on her LJ some time ago?"

[mobbsy.livejournal.com]

"ug... need coffee. Huh? What's going on?"

Turn you into a piece of meat

[hoiho.livejournal.com]

What the fuck amd I doing in Minnesota?

[ex-cerebrate131.livejournal.com]

"I must have drunk tequila again. On the other hand, this is a lot more fun than a skip in Edinburgh."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_nicolai_/]

Shit. Someone forged my address on the latest bunch of penis enlargements to sneak through her spam filter and she's decided to make an example of me.

[liriselei.livejournal.com]

depends on what time of year it was and what the weather was like...

[antoniosteve.livejournal.com]

Aw, hell - my girlfriend is going to kill me.

[morinon.livejournal.com]

Dammit, I want my dream back, that was more interesting.

[gailsedotes.livejournal.com]

and now the rain and lightning...

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

"Where does she get those wonderful toys ?"

[suzerain.livejournal.com]

"dammit. Christi? the quiet one....
it's always the quiet ones.
now how do I get out of these ropes before I get 45,000 volts accross me heart...."

[zandev.livejournal.com]

"Hey, where did you get that van der Graff generator from?"

[rillaith.livejournal.com]

If you woke up stark bollock naked

Where did they come from? *blink*

[faerierhona.livejournal.com]

Who's holding the camera then?

[puddingcat.livejournal.com]

Huh? What?
I wonder if my hair will stand on end.
Oh, crap, this is real.

[chorus.livejournal.com]

"Stupid surreal dreams."

[ewx.livejournal.com]

"Bloody LARPers..."

[mejoff.livejournal.com]

uhm, christi? can we keep in character things in character, please?

[angoel.livejournal.com]

So *that's* what the prophesy meant